Usapang "COOL"

I had a heart to heart conversation with a very close friend of mine (who requests for anonimity) just before the break of dawn. Apparently, we were both awake and can't get back to sleep immediately. So we just talked:

Friend: Feeling mo ba cool ka?
Jes: Hmm. Paminsan lalo na pag nasa ibang klaseng crowd ako. Yung tipong kelangan pa nila lawakan ung nalalaman nila... Gets mo? Bat ikaw ba?
Friend: Oo, feeling ko cool ako.
Jes: Pansin ko nga... Kasi iniisip ko kung magpapaka-cool ako, baka kung ano ung isipin nung ibang taong kasama ko eh... Baka isipin nila ang feeling ko. Kaya un, tumatahimik nalang ako as much as possible.
Friend: Duh, eh bat mo iisipin ung iniisip nila kung natural na yun sayo? Hindi ka naman makikipagpalstikan eh. Magiging totoo ka lang.
Jes: Sabagay may point ka.
Friend: Edi kung may masabi sila tungkol sayo, edi ibig sabihin nagwwork yung gusto mong mangyari.
Jes: (tumawa lang. iniisip "sabagay..")
Friend: Tska iniisip ko, WTH. Kung ayaw nila sakin, it's not my loss... it's THEIRS!!! Kung ayaw nila ako, wala akong paki. Hindi ko naman kawalan eh... KAWALAN NILA.

Haha. At dahil sa napaka-profound na conversation namin, narealize ko na I'm holding back still just because of my fears: that once I open myself up completely to others, I'll be doomed to rejection. I also fear to outshine others. Haha, ewan! Masyado ata akong mabait/mapagbigay eh... Naging prinsipyo ko na sa buhay na unahin ung kapakanan ng iba bago ung sarili ko... It's not completely wrong pero kahit papano may mali diba? Sumobra ata ako. Haha! Owell. This time around, ako na muna... pero hindi ko naman kakalimutan ung responsibilidad ko sa iba. Hindi na ako matatakot. (YEHEY!!!) hahaha

And besides, if THEY say "What's wrong with being second best?",

then I say,

"What's wrong with being first?".

Para sa mga taong nangangailangan.

Grabe... Bat kaya may mga taong malabo talaga? Hindi mo maintindihan kung ano bang balak nila sa buhay nila, para bang wala na silang gana... pero IKAW sa sarili mo, alam mong kaya naman nila sa sarili nila. Nawawalan lang siguro talaga sila ng gana kasi sa tingin nila, masyado nang corrupted ang mundo at wala na itong igaganda pa. Nakakaawa sila. Bat ngayon pa sila susuko kung kelan malapit na sila sa finish line? Hindi ba nila naiisip ung mga taong malapit sakanila na tumitingala sakanila?

Hay.

Bat ba kasi may mga taong sadyang maarte? Binibigyan na nga sila ng oportunidad para ayusin ang buhay nila, hindi pa nila ito tine-take advantage. Ano bang nasa isip nila? Nababaliw na ba sila o talagang mataas lang ang pride nila at ayaw nila itong tanggapin? Pinapaghirapan ang magandang buhay. Oo, maaari itong magpresenta sayo nang hubog na kaagad pero kadalasan, IKAW talaga yung huhubog nito sa anumang gusto mong hugis at istraktura. Pero pano mo makakamit ung gusto mo kung tinitignan mo palang ung proseso, ayaw mo na? Susuko ka nalang ba ng ganun-ganun nalang? Hindi mo man lang ba susubukan?

TIC. TOC. TIC. TOC. TIC. TOC!

Ay nako. TUMATAKBO ANG ORAS! Hellerrrr! Tumatanda kaya tayo (physiologically speaking)! At sa panahon ngayon, nakakalungkot mang isipin pero AGE DOES MATTER. (Oo, I also believe otherwise!!!) Pero sadly, it is becoming reality. (PFFT!)

Kaya anong balak mo??? I suggest, get up your feet and

MOVE!

If you fail, WTH? At least you took the risk and tried diba! Hindi pa huli ang lahat... ;)

Galing sa isang concerned
na ka-pamilya/ka-puso/kaibigan,
Jes :)

xxx

Global Warming + Life + Payong

Ang labo ng panahon!!! Aaraw at sobrang init (na umaabot pa sa 35'C) tapos biglang uulan ng malakas (ung tipong ang lalaki pa ng patak ng ulan)! Sanhi ba ito ng global warming??? Hindi siya nakakatuwa kasi anlaboooo. Yung mga plano mo na naka-set na for the day, nasisira dahil sa napaka-unpredictable na weather. Haha. Pero sabagay. Ganun naman talaga dapat ang weather diba? Unpredictable.

Parang buhay. Napaka-unpredictable.

There comes a time when you feel like you've got it all figured out but then you wake up and you suddenly feel lost. Yung tipong alam mo na sa sarili mo na yun na yun, 110% sure ka na.. pero biglang POOF! Hindi pala.

Hahaha bat kaya ganun noh? Owell. Life is full of surprises, you would never know what to expect! Haha parang weather lang, umaaraw-umuulan. Ay nako, kaya magdala nalang tayo ng payong everywhere we go para lagi tayong handa!!!

Fun run. F*ck the sun.

Nakatulog ako ng 1am kagabi tas nagising ako ng 5:15am. Gusto kong umattend sa parish youth activity namin for our feast day eh--- our Fun Run kasi it's gonna be FUN. HAHAHA :)) Well. It turns out, masaya nga naman. Nagkita-kita kame ng mga parish friends ko at syempre, nagbondinggg. Natutuwa na ko sakanila kasi kahit pano we're getting closer! YEHEY! Hehe. So nagjogging-slash-walking kame sa main road namin. The route was from Mapayapa Village 1 to CBE to Mapayapa Village 2. 2 laps dapat eh, pero kinaya lang namin nila Nina, 1 lap. HAHAHA :P Burn calories, BURN!!!

Anyway. After the event, we settled down at the hall just beside the church. There were FREE cold MILO and water! Haha, tapos nagbenta kame ng Arroz Caldo. Pero Emma and I sneaked our cups of lugaw for free. HEHE. :)) Tska nga pala I met JC Intal's sister, Vica. Haha wala lang. Nagkwentuhan lang kame sa park, watched the boys' basketball game and watched the girls' volleyball game. After sometime, I went home cause I wanted to take a shower and freshen up. Then I went back to church to hear mass at 10am. :)

After thaaaat! We had a Parish Youth Ministry meeting. We talked about the upcoming Youth Encounter 3 and some other youth activities that are coming up. Haha. Grabe inabot kame ng hanggang 3pm. Tas ayun. After nun, I went home, took a shower for the second time, and gone online. :P

Naisip ko lang... My participation in our youth ministry does me good. Kasi, I kill time productively and I build long lasting relationships (so I hope!). Hehe. Wala lang... Imbis na nakatambay lang ako sa harap ng computer, edi tutulong nalang ako sa parish namin. At least diba, hindi ako nagaaksaya ng oras... Deim. Naririnig niyo ba ako? Susubukan ko nang maging active sa youth. Susubukan ko nang hindi tamarin. Haha. Pero subok lang ha. I won't promise.

HAY Grabe. Ang init talaga noh!!! Nakakainis ung kainitan. Nakakainis ung feeling na nanlalagkit ka dahil sa pawis! ARGH. Nakakainit nang ulo ang init!!! Haha. I really hate the sun. Kasi nga nagbibigay ito ng init satin tapos NAGPAPAITIM pa ito. Potek! Ayoko nang umitim! Gusto ko nang pumuti! Di na magkakulay ung braso at legs ko!!! HAHAHA

I love you Sabado!

Yesss. I love TODAY.

You know why?

Cause:
-My patient went home early today so I practically had nothing much to do in our duty.
-We were dismissed early @ 1pm!!
-I ate kare-kare for lunch.
-I ate Mocha Choco Chip ice cream for merienda.
-I took a much needed nap when I got home. (From 3pm-6pm!!!)
-I ate liempo for dinner.
-I ate Mocha Choco Chip ice cream again for dessert!
-I'm talking to people again. Tae, namiss ko kayo!
hahaha

Yey, yey, yey! Life is good. :D HAHA

Masaya rin ako kasi wala masyadong bulk for next week:
> Mon-Wed (8am-5pm) = UP Red Cross Training
> Saturday (7am-7pm) = duty at our school's hospital, station 3B.

Haha pero I have to finish my parts in our group's case presentation for Saturday:
-Biographic Data
-Nursing Care Plan.
Madali na yuuuun. DAPAT. Hehe

Tae. Ang init noh?? Kakaiba ung iniiit!!! Tipong hindi mo na kailangang mag-exercise para lang maka-burn ng calories. INSTANT SAUNA ampota!! HAHAHA. Owell. At least may naidudulot na maganda ung kainitan lalo na sa mga matatabang tulad KO? HAHA! :))

Ayooon. May funrun activity nga pala ung parish youth namin bukas. I'm still thinking about whether to go or not. Ang aga kasi eh, 6am. Baka sumunod nalang ako or whatever. Although the probability of going there is unmistakably high... May pinapa-collect kasi ung head naming si Ate Afrhil sakin eh. Hmm. HAHA. :)) owell. Bahala na!

FRYday

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!

I got home at 5am from a six-hour graveyard shift and immediately forced myself to sleep. Haha. I hate them eyebags, you know. And I hate feeling crappy due to lack of sleep. So I had to go even if I wasn't feeling groggy at all. Haha :P

HAY!!!

Thank God, our duty supposedly today has been called off by our clinical instructor. Tomorrow magreresume at 3-11pm. Yey! So today, I'm busying myself with finishing the book, "Rosie Dunne" by Cecelia Ahern, that Sam (Hya's blockmate) lend me. I started reading it yesterday and I'm almost halfway through. Haha, it tells of an interesting story actually- about two childhood best friends, Alex and Rosie who were apparently meant for each other but because of a twist of fate changed it all. Girls my age would probably like it. Hehe. It's funny and quite addictive as well.

Anyway. After reading the book I said earlier, I'll be reading Catcher in the Rye. I promised a friend I'll read it. He says it's a nice book. Haha. I'll keep my word. :P Wow, books are keeping me preoccupied these days. So much for a boring life. At least the books' characters have more interesting stories to tell than I. Ok, books will be my confidant at the moment. AY NAKOOOO!! I've been wanting to talk to some people but I guess it wouldn't happen anytime soon. BOOHOO! Haha. Owell, whatever. I believe I'm busy like them anyway. HAHA. Everybody seems to be TOO busy nowadays and I got none to confide with. (Haha. Is it me or am I becoming emo???) :))

Anyway. The UP Red Cross Training is coming up! I'm looking forward to it cause I wanna be a pseudo "UP Student" even for just six days. There's just something about the UP people that keeps me intrigued and fascinated. :P Hehe! I'll go there probably with one of my crazy blockmates, Ervi, who just lives nearby. Haha! Oh and by the way, my section and my best friend Bry's section have simultaneous schedules in the said training. Yeeey! May makukulit na naman ako! Hahaha. Probably, we'll meet up with our friend there and go food tripping again just like the not-so-old times (if you know what I'm sayin). Haha, ISAW at FISHBALLS na tooo!!! Yey! I'm excited!!! :))

Naman o. Haha

Na-resked ung oras ng duty namin today.

Instead of 7am-3pm, naging 11pm-5am. Potek. Ayoko ng graveyard eh, nasisira body clock ko. :P Haha

So much for waking up at five in the morning.

Owell. At least yung good part dun, walang duty bukas (Friday)!!! YEYYY. Hahaha!

Sige, matutulog muna ako. Kelangan ko to for later's work.

So long! :)

S**T ang INIT!

Haha. Omg. I've been in front of the computer for 4 hours? Wala naman akong ginagawa masyado. Haha. Ang galing! I guess this is better than watching TV. Well, maybe for now. Pagbigyan niyo nako, last day naman ng summer eh.

Hay. Gusto ko ng makakausap. Un lang, masaya na ko. I wanna talk to YOU, to YOU, and most especially to YOU! Haha. Pero siguro it's healthy din na we don't talk to people as often. Para hindi nakakasawa. Tae. Bat ba kasi naimbento ung "sawa" eh. :P Ikaw ba nagsasawa ka? Mindset lang naman un diba, kaya pwedeng i-shrug off. Haha wala lang.

Hay. For now, everything's so blurry. I want clarity... I NEED clarity.

...and a confidant.

Last Day of Summer

4 hours of chatting and 12 hours of sleep. Just like high school summer days.

Oops, I did it again! Haha

Tomorrow I'll be going back to school. For summer classes. In college.

I'll miss you 4 hours of chatting and 12 hours of sleep! :(

LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!! <3 nyahaha

Alas!

ALAS! I was able to fix my blog layout! Putek, hirap na hirap kame ni Hya magayos nito kagabi. Halos hindi kame magkaintindihan! Wahaha! Inabot pa kame ng 3 am para lang ayusin tong layout ko... na apparently, hindi naman naayos completely. Hehe, binago ko ngayong tanghali lang ung layout na pina-upload ko kay Hya last night. Di ko kasi feel eh. :P Hehe. Anyhooow, super thanks Hya ha!! :) salamat sa pag-assist sakin at sa pagstay mo rin ng late kagabi! Sabi na love mo talaga ako eh. HAHAHA!!! :))

I'll fix my blog later ulit. Ipagpapahinga ko muna mata ko... and I'll just eat lunch! ;P

Schedule

I got my group's schedule for summer. Haha, wala nga talaga (ata) kameng pasok ng Mondays to Wednesdays eh. Yey! At least! :)) Petics lang? Haha.

Here's our schedule (including the UP Red Cross Training thing):

April 16, 17, 18, 24, 25
Area: FEU-3B
Time: 7am - 3pm

April 20, 21, 22
Basic Life Support - UP Red Cross Training
Time: 8am - 5pm

April 27, 28, 29
Disaster Nursing - UP Red Cross Training
Time: 8am - 5pm din ata? Haha :P

April 30, May 1 & 2
Area: Novaliches District (DR/NICU)
Time: 2pm - 10pm

May 7, 8, 9, 15, 16
Area: Manalo - Mendoza
Time: Not yet available

HAHA. And that's basically about it. 20K for this shiznit plus an additional Php 1100 for the UP Red Cross. Deim. Haha owell. On the brighter side, at least my summer days wouldn't go to just bumming around and wasted time. I should be happy that I have something to do, right? Nyahaha. I hope summer classes would be F-U-N! :))

Sige. Til the next post! For the meantime, let me enjoy my ham and egg sandwich. YUMMM. Hehe! :*

Monday

HEY, HEY.

It's a boooring Monday.

I thought it's the start of our summer classes but thank God, I'm wrong. Haha! Summer classes actually starts on Thursday so I have 2 1/2 days to enjoooy! HAHA! Deim! Pasok ulit sa Thursday... nakakatamad pero owell. Kelangan eh. Haha. Buti nalang di masyadong heavy ung summer classes ko kasi puro duty lang from Thursdays to Saturdays and I think I have no classes on Mondays-Wednesdays. Haha, I'm not quite sure. I don't know how our school's system works and I don't have any plans of knowing it anyway. :P Haha, kumbaga... Go with the flow lang. That's supposed to be how it goes.

I should have gone to school to get my Certificate of Matriculation at the Registrar's office but since my duty on Thursday's at our school's hospital, I'll just get it on the same day. Haha, I don't feel like going to schoooool. After all, it's still summerrrr! Well, not until Thursday. BOOHOO! Haha :P

Deim. Summer classes make me wanna cry. Nakakatamad lang talaga. Everybody around you is just bumming around and feeling the heat of summer while here you are obliged to go to school-slash-hospital-slash-healthcare centers and "serve". OMGGG. Haha. Owell. Which is better anyway? Having something to do or having nothing to do at all? Haha, for the mean time I choose the latter. :)) Summerrr!!! Dapat walang ginagawa kundi mag-enjoy ehhh! HAHAHA. Potek. I just realized I sounded like a kid. :)) nyahaha

Soooo. I'm free til Wednesday. Let's go out? HAHA. :))

Blogging again.

Helo. I'm blogging yet again.

Haha. Pero I won't update this account as much siguro... pag wala lang akong magawa at kung trip ko lang magkwento. Kumbaga, to keep me preoccupied and awayyy from boredom. Haha!! :P

Nakakatawa ung mga older posts ko dito. Putek, ang nene!! HAHAHA. I'm thinking about whether to delete it or not eh. Pero sige fine, di ko muna ide-delete. Ang funny balikan eh! Pero siguro someday, I will... pag nadagdagan na ng more relevant posts dito. Hehe. :))

Soooo. I'm back. But not really? :)) haha bahala na.

BELOW ARE OLDER POSTS!!!

go lang and make fun of them if it makes you happy. hehehe!! :))